Xtreme Dating Challenge
by SeaBreeze
Summary: Welcome to Xtreme Dating Challenge, where everything is available for a price and everything rides on the choice of one girl to fall in love. . .
1. I Hate Reality TV

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter One: I Hate Reality T.V.  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
Summary: Welcome to Xtreme Dating Challenge, where everything is available for a price and everything rides on the choice of one girl to fall in love. . .  
  
A/N: This was inspired by the Bachlorette, the song "I Miss You" by Blink 182, Ten Things I Hate About you, Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, and cynicism. Yay, cynicism!  
  
Disclaimer: I really own very little. [At least I'm safe inside my mind.]  
  
~*~*~  
  
"You're KIDDING me." Kamiya Kaoru said dangerously, her voice deadly and quiet. "Takani Megumi, you had BETTER be messing with me." Megumi the fox's lips tugged as she tried in vain not to smile.  
  
"Unfortunately not, Tanuki." Megumi grinned as her friend turned an indescribable shade of angry red. She examined her nails as she continued. "Come on, Miss Kaoru, its time we got you a beau. . ."  
  
"A 'BEAU'?!?!? Its time we get me a 'BEAU'??? What the hell are you thinking, Megumi?? I don't want or need a gods-cursed BEAU!!!!!!" Kaoru's anger was explosive, however, Megumi was unaffected.  
  
"Don't be silly, Kaoru, everyone needs a beau at one time or another."  
  
"You're getting me a 'beau' I don't want with a REALITY TELEVISION SHOW?"  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"Megumi, I could KILL you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Once you find the right guy, and fall in love, and you get laid. . . that'll fade."  
  
"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggg, MEGUMI!!!!" Kaoru tugged viciously at her own hair and buried her face between her knees.  
  
"Oh, calm down, Tanuki-"  
  
"Don't call me that!"  
  
"-just give it a chance."  
  
"Like I have a choice! You forged my signature when you signed me up for this damn thing. I should have you arrested!"  
  
"But you won't, and that's what matters." Megumi said smugly. Kaoru stopped for a minute and then a genius grin spread over her face.  
  
"How will it work if I'm totally obstinate, huh, Megumi? What guy's going to even WANT to go out with me if I'm a totally crude, violent, conniving, insultive bitch?" she grinned triumphantly at her friend. Megumi gave a small, superior smile in response.  
  
"Oh, but that's the whole point, dear. I've signed you up for Xtreme Dating Challenge. These men are competing to win the heart of a man-hater." Megumi smiled pointedly at her friend. "That man-hater being you."  
  
Kaoru watched her friend's face, and, finding the truth, groaned loudly.  
  
"You CAN'T be serious. . ."  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N: Heh. Heheheh. I'd be such a bitch if I had to do one of those shows. Oh, but I'd enjoy every minute of it. I'm such a man-eater. Yum. 


	2. Bring on the Idiots, uh, I Mean, Men

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter Two: Bring on the Idiots. . . uh, I Mean, Men. . .  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: I'm so so so so so so so excited about this story. I think the idea is my best so far. I'm so excited. Thanks to those who did review. Arigato!  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, ain't got nuttin'.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The moment Tokyo Television Network got word that their star of Xtreme Dating Challenge- the violent, bitchy, but beautiful Kamiya Kaoru- had signed the contract, it was time for them to search out the 25 most eligible bachelors of Japan. These men had to be young, attractive, fit, rich, and suave. The most prominent families in Japan were inspected for promising young men. In the Shinomori family they found Shinomori Aoshi, famous for his shocking good looks and ice cold dealings with business. Also well known were Seta Soujiro and Yukishiro Enishi.  
  
There were lesser-known competitors signed as well, like the self- made millionaire/hired hit man Zanza (no last name).  
  
Why were all these men single, though, and why did they want to be in a reality TV show to win the affection of some rich but otherwise unknown girl?  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Gentlemen," said Nobu Takana, president of Tokyo television, to the twenty-four bachelors seated around him at the long table in his Tokyo Television Network office building.  
  
"This," he said, motioning to the lot of them, "is reality TV. Made heinously popular in America and beginning to grow in popularity in Japan. The idea for the show you will compete in was so original, so outlandish, that the American Broadcasting Company offered 13 billion dollars to buy the idea from our writers. We refused. They then offered us 7 billion dollars if they could air the show at the same time it is aired in Japan- we refused once again. But this is not just a dating show, gentlemen, you will not only be competing for the affections of a beautiful woman. This is entertainment. There are billions of dollars riding on this program. It is expected to be the biggest thing TTN will have on the air this summer.  
  
"Understandably, at the end of the series we must have a new couple. To ensure that this happens, the one who wins this girls' heart will receive 10 million dollars. If every single one of you fails. . . something must be done." Takana's eyes looked steadily into each of the bachelor's. "Do you understand what I mean by that? The girl must be killed if none of you men make her fall in love with you. Strictly for entertainment's sake. On the air.  
  
"So. I highly suggest each of you work your hardest to win this girl's heart, if you don't like bloodshed." Takana finished with that, and made it clear that the meeting was over and he was to leave the room. Aoshi, however, was not quite finished.  
  
"Mr. Takana?" he asked, voice cold and bored. Takana turned around slowly, dangerously, seeming to answer only because of Aoshi's tie to the Shinomori name.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Shinomori?"  
  
"The contract we signed said there would be 25 men competing for this girl's heart. There are only 24 of us here." At his statement, his fellow bachelors looked around to find that what he said was true.  
  
". . .we are waiting for the final bachelor's signature." Takana said quietly, and then left the room. Aoshi sighed and leaned back into his chair as the other men chatted quietly.  
  
"Have you heard of the girl?" he heard one man ask excitedly. "She MUST be beautiful, if we are all competing for her."  
  
The rest of the conversations were much the same, and Aoshi gave a disgusted snort. Idiots. One of them, however, was not so stupid.  
  
"Heh. You think this is going to be easy, don't you?" the voice was drawling and lazy, not like any of the other voices in the room. They all turned to look at a tall, lean man with spiky brown hair and ornery brown eyes. His audience looked at him questioningly as Aoshi nodded in approval.  
  
"You think we're all going to meet a beautiful bachelorette, and simply compete with eachother to win her choice? I don't think so. There are always twists in these games. Takana said it himself, the idea being "outlandish and original". I dunno about the crap he was spouting, but I don't trust that this will be as easy as you all think." Zanza, fish skeleton in mouth, stood to leave. "I dunno about you guys, but I'm not wasting anymore time in a corporate building than I have to. See ya next time, boys." He left.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Tokyo Television Network believed they were in control of every aspect of XDC. Not quite. They could be bought, easily, and most of the bachelors had money to spare. Most of them, unknown to TTN, were a part of some big group- behind Aoshi was the OniwaBanshu. Zanza had once been apart of the Red Report Army, before it had been destroyed. Seta Soujiro was of the malicious Juppongatana. Amakuso Shougo was a part of a radical Christian group. To win this reality show was to win honor- not to mention 10 million dollars and a beautiful girl- for each respective group.  
  
The stakes had been raised.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Kaoru sighed and looked out the window of the private plane that was taking her to Kyoto, where the stupid dating game would take place. Megumi slept languidly beside her, bright red lips muttering silently. Kaoru rolled her eyes. What had she gotten into?  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/M: Business and politics, bah. No fun. The next chapter will be more politics, but interesting ones. Veeeeerrrrry interesting. 


	3. Last But Not Least

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter 3: Last but Not Least. . .  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: Eeeh. Eeeh. I love Kenshin. And just so everyone knows, I really DO hate reality T.V. Other than Most Extreme Elimination Challenge, I can't stand it. But because this is with Kenshin characters, and I'm writing it. . . I can deal.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The fighter for hire, Zanza, looked over his hunched shoulder quickly and shoved his hands into his pockets. If he wanted to get away with this, no one could see or recognize him. He pulled his dark jacket tight over his back, tight over the symbol for bad which was so characteristically his, and entered the building.  
  
"Can I help you, sir?" a feminine voice asked from behind a desk. He smirked. The receptionist was hot.  
  
"I'm sure you can," he drawled, and the girl blushed. The whole "secretary" thing was pretty sexy. Coughing, Zanza focused his mind back on the goal. Right, the goal. "I need to talk to the Japanese Intelligence and Protection Service." The girl, despite her blush, stared at him for a moment.  
  
"They're different organizations, you know?" she said, looking a little disbelieving. "Japanese Intelligence and Japanese Protection Service." Zanza bristled at being corrected.  
  
"Right, whatever. I need to talk to somebody from either of those." He waited as the girl shrugged and picked up the phone. She pushed the number "3".  
  
"Hello, Mr. Yakamichi. Yes, I've got a man down here who needs to talk to. . . either J.I. or the J.P.S. He's not sure which." She listened for a moment, then set the phone to her shoulder and turned to Zanza.  
  
"And why do you need to talk to Japanese Intelligence or Protection Services?" the receptionist asked. Zanza looked around to make sure no one would hear him.  
  
"There's a conspiracy that may or may not result in a girl's death." The girl nodded as if she heard this often, and repeated the information into the phone. Listening, she nodded, thanked the man on the other end, and hung up.  
  
"You want Japanese Intelligence. Fourteenth floor, sixth door to the left, they'll be expecting you." She smiled reassuringly and went back to her paperwork as Zanza nodded in thanks and headed towards the elevator.  
  
When he arrived on the fourteenth floor, he took a left and counted the doors till he reached the sixth one. He raised his fist to knock, but a sharp looking man opened it before his knuckles hit the wood.  
  
"Ah. Hello. You must be the man from downstairs. And you are. . .?"  
  
"Call me Zanza." Zanza answered, nodding. The man looked a bit surprised.  
  
"The infamous hired assassin? Zanza. Hmm. Well, I am Mr.Yakamichi. Welcome to Japanese Intelligence. Now. What have you come to discuss with us? A planned murder, so I heard? Come in, sit down." Zanza followed him into yet another door within the one he had just entered, finding a room with a couch and 3 lounge chairs. He took a lounge chair.  
  
"Something like that." Zanza answered slowly. "You see, Tokyo Television Network is starting a new dating show called Xtreme Dating Challenge. The object of the game is for one of the 25 most eligible bachelors in Japan to win the affections of a girl. I am one of the 25. TTN's president explained to us how much is riding on this show. Takana, the president, said that we must have this woman fall in love with one of us. If not. . . for entertainment's sake. . ." Zanza made a motion with his hand across his neck to emphasize.  
  
"They. . . they're going to kill her if she doesn't fall in love with one of you?" Yakamichi exclaimed. "That's crazy!" He rubbed his forehead. "Do we know who this girl is?"  
  
Zanza shook his head. "Not a clue." Yakamichi frowned, and poked his head out the door.  
  
"Kappei!" he called.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Yakamichi?" Zanza heard a voice from outside.  
  
"Find out who the female contestant for TTN's new reality show 'Xtreme Dating Challenge' is."  
  
"Hai, sir." Yakamichi turned back to face Zanza.  
  
"He's our resident hacker. We should know soon enough." He sighed and looked at Zanza. "The question is, how do we get an agent in there to protect her?"  
  
"As of right now, there are only 24 bachelors." The spiky headed fighter replied. "The last one, I heard, still hasn't signed. If you can find the right guy soon enough, I figure he can get in."  
  
Yakamichi wrinkled his nose in thought, and a small blonde man, Kappei, poked his head in.  
  
"Mr. Yakamichi?"  
  
"Hai."  
  
"The girl's name is Kamiya Kaoru."  
  
"Arigato, Kappei." Yakamichi turned again to Zanza. "Well. Now, with your help, we can find an agent in Protection and send him with you to TTN. . . this is perfect. I can't thank you enough, Zanza."  
  
"No big thing. Are we going to go find this guy now?"  
  
"Sooner, the better." Yakamichi stood, motioning for Zanza to follow as he left the room with all the comfortable seating, then the 6th door, and headed towards the elevators. The men stepped in, and Yakamichi pressed the button for the 16th floor. Both men waited in impatient silence as the elevator moved slowly upward. Zanza cleared his throat.  
  
"Things work pretty fast around Japanese Intelligence and Protection, don't they?" he wondered aloud. Yakamichi nodded. "Good. That's how I like things." The elevator dinged and there was a shuffling noise as the heavy silver doors opened. Zanza and Mr. Yakamichi headed out, Yakamichi in the lead. He led them to the right, walking all the way down the long hallway to a door on the right. '478', the door read. Yakamichi let himself and Zanza right in without a knock or anything, and was immediately greeted by a male secretary.  
  
"Yakamichi! How can JPS serve you?" the man asked, sickeningly cheerful, in Zanza's opinion.  
  
"I've got a job for one of your boys." Yakamichi replied.  
  
"Ah. Let me find you the boss." Before he could even pick up the phone, a tall man, taller than Zanza, even, came forth.  
  
"Yakamichi," he said, his voice deep. "Who or what is in need of Japanese Protection." It wasn't a question. Zanza got the feeling that this man made people nervous, though not himself. People did not make Zanza nervous.  
  
"Yes, Mr. Seijiro." Yakamichi began to unfold the information he and Zanza had come up with together, including the last opening spot for a bachelor, and Zanza's part in the whole story. Seijiro's face was blank for a minute afterward, and then he nodded abruptly.  
  
"Very well. Agents!" he yelled suddenly, more to the entire building than the fighter for hire and the president of Japanese Intelligence. Immediately, around 12 extremely fit men assembled, each looking fiercer than the next. Each was dressed in comfortable looking black slacks, a black t-shirt, and a navy bulletproof vest. Turning with a smirk to his two guests, Seijiro motioned towards them. "These, friends, are the 12 best Protection Agents in Japan. They work under me, and the one best fitted to the needs of this case... he is yours."  
  
Zanza was silent for a moment as he sized each agent up. 'Too short, too fat, too bulky, too stupid, too ugly, too clean.' He thought in disgust. He turned to Seijiro.  
  
"Well, which one's the best?" he asked bluntly. Yakamichi covered his face with his hand, and Seijiro merely raised an eyebrow. Shrugging, he snapped.  
  
"Baka deshi," he said. It was an order. 'Perfect,' Zanza thought in annoyance. 'His best agent is an idiot student. Perfect.' To his surprise, the shortest, smallest, most red-headed agent stepped forward. He had a cross-shaped scar on the left cheek, and seemed somewhat annoyed with Seijiro.  
  
"Must you introduce me like that?" he asked his boss, who gave a sinister grin.  
  
"'That I should.'" He replied. 'Baka Deshi' scowled, and then turned to Zanza and Yakamichi with a genuine smile.  
  
"Hello, my name is Himura Kenshin." He held out his hand to Zanza.  
  
"Zanza." Zanza replied slowly, reluctantly putting out his hand. Kenshin shook it, and then turned to Yakamichi and bowed.  
  
"Mr. Yakamichi. It's good to see you again."  
  
"And you, Mr. Himura."  
  
"So, what are the qualifications?" the man named Kenshin asked amicably. Zanza looked sideways at Yakamichi and cleared his throat.  
  
"Well, if you're the best, than obviously that's good enough. But I'm not sure if you quite cut it, physically, I mean. . ."  
  
"I can assure you that my size gives me no disadvantage during battle." Kenshin looked a bit miffed but entirely serious. Zanza laughed.  
  
"That's not exactly what I meant."  
  
~*~*~  
  
No one reviewed my first chapter. . . how sad. Does reality tv turn y'all off? I hate it, but the idea for this fic was too priceless to let pass. . .  
  
BUT! For my second chapter reviewers:  
  
The-Lone-Lemon- It is weird. . . I know. It has to be, since I wrote it. Thanks for reviewing and I hope to see you back (  
  
RK-128- Thanks much, Scarf-Kidnapper. It means a whole lot coming from you. I know you're busy, but when the next chapter of Liquid Dreams is out I'm throwing a frickin' party. Anberlin! Yay! Also- WE FOUND DDR MACHINES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * flips out * No, but really, thanks a lot for reviewing and doing it in such a flattering way! 


	4. You Don't Have to Wear THAT Dress Tonigh...

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter 4: You Don't Have to Wear THAT Dress Tonight. . .  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: Nothin to say. Hello, all.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
  
~*~*~  
  
"Here are the rules of the game," the small, energetic woman in front of Kaoru and Megumi said. "At first you'll have 'talks' with each of the 25 very handsome guys, and after you've talked with each of them, you get to vote 15 of them off. However, your friend, Megumi, and I, Makimachi Misao, each get to revoke one of your removals- guys we think would be good for you anyways. Each time you vote people off, that will happen." She gave them a big grin that Kaoru returned reluctantly.  
  
"So you mean I'm not completely in charge?" she asked. Misao and Megumi nodded simultaneously.  
  
"Hai! Megumi 'n me get to pick some guys for you. And trust me, Kaoru, they're all hotties. . ." Misao seemed to go off into her own dreamland, and Kaoru and Megumi exchanged looks.  
  
"Um, Miss Misao?" Megumi asked, snapping the smaller girl out of it. Misao shook her head and grinned sheepishly at the two.  
  
"Sorry! Its just that one of them was so yummy, I couldn't help but. . . sorry. Anyways! Tonight they get to meet you and find out the twist- they don't know that you hate guys, Kaoru. And so the three of us—"she threw her arms around Megumi and Kaoru's shoulders—are going dress shopping for tonight. It's a big banquet with you two, me, and the 25 hotties—Imean, bachelors. You guys ready to get stylin'? Its on the budget of TTN, so get whatever you want! Shopping spree!" Misao bound ahead of them towards a black stretch limo. Megumi turned to her friend in mock surprise.  
  
"She's got more energy than you, Kaoru, no wonder she's the host of the show!"  
  
"Shut up, Kitsune."  
  
~*~*~  
  
The three girls headed to the most expensive formal dress store they could find to get their evening wear. Misao, despite Kaoru's preconceptions of a TV personality, was fun and easier to get along with than Megumi even. Everything seemed to surprise her and bring her joy, and it was hard for the other two not to get caught up in that. She settled on the first dress she found, a sparkly dark blue reverse halter that ended a good foot above her knees and was slitted up the sides. It was perfect for her, and Kaoru was envious of the smaller girl's figure. She was TINY in a way that nearly EVERYTHING would've looked good on her. Kaoru's dress took a bit longer; she was unhappy with the first four or five. The sixth dress she tried on was perfect, in Megumi and Misao's opinions. It was a light purple silk tube top dress that flattered her slender body perfectly and showed off a good amount of cleavage (which was the one feature she wasn't sure she liked). Around her waist was a yellow obi and tie with purple butterflies. Megumi was the hardest shopper to please. After an hour and a half of Kaoru and Misao desperately offering dresses for her, she settled on one that epitomized the quote "is that a dress or a washcloth?". Red and strapless, the dress had virtually no back. It was even shorter than Misao's and the torso and bust seemed to be molded to Megumi so as not to fall off.  
  
"Double-stick tape," the sales associate told them with a grin. Megumi grinned back but the thought made Kaoru nervous. She'd never wear a dress that might accidentally peel off if you moved to sit down. Misao wouldn't have chosen that dress for herself, either, frowning at its immobility. Each had to admit, however, that Megumi made it look good.  
  
Once the dresses had each been found and bought, shoes and accessories had to be found. Misao picked a pair of tall black boots with a heel of a good 4 inches. With them on, she was taller than Megumi. Kaoru found a cute pair of yellow heels that she was comfortable enough in, and Megumi, chunky black sandals.  
  
"Can we get jewelry at home?" Kaoru asked wearily, feet aching and throat dry. Misao giggled.  
  
"You think the jewelry at home can be as good as the stuff THIS place has? Don't be silly. To the jewelry department!" with that, she grabbed a groaning Kaoru's arm and escorted her, Megumi on the other arm, to find jewelry.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Kaoru and Megumi waited nervously in Megumi's dressing room, fully decked out in all of the days' shopping to be called out—their first appearance on reality T.V., and their first meeting with the 25 most eligible bachelors in Japan. Misao had told them not to be nervous and rushed to makeup, because, as the host of the show, she had to be ready before anyone else. They could hear her excited voice echoing throughout the house in which most of the series would take place.  
  
"And now for our bachelors! Come on out, boys!" They heard her dimly. Kaoru cringed, turning her back to the door.  
  
"I'm so NERVOUS, Miss Megumi! What if I freeze out there, in front of the cameras?"  
  
"I'll be there to pinch you, Tanuki." Megumi said seriously with a fox-like grin on her face. "Now calm down! You don't want these guys thinking you're some nervous child, do you?" Kaoru straightened, lifting her head.  
  
"No, you're right. I want them to be intimidated by me." She rolled her shoulders back, loosening them. Megumi rolled her eyes.  
  
"Right, I always forget how much of a tomboy you are. . ."  
  
"What's THAT supposed to mean, Megumi??" Kaoru demanded, face flushing in anger. Megumi grinned wickedly.  
  
"Nothing, noth—"  
  
There was a knock on the door and both girls jumped about 4 feet in the air.  
  
"Miss Kamiya? Miss Takani?" the voice was polite, older, and male.  
  
"Yes?" Kaoru asked hesitantly.  
  
"She's about to introduce you. The men are already all out there. Its best you wait off camera so you'll be ready."  
  
"Thank you." With a heavy breath, Kaoru turned to Megumi.  
  
"You ready for this, Tanuki?" Megumi asked gently.  
  
"Of course not." Kaoru replied primly, turning on her heel and leading Megumi out of their dressing room. The man led them to the door that would lead to their entrance, on camera, in front of 25 men and all of Japan. . . Kaoru's stomach rolled. "Oh, Megumi, I think I'm gonna be sick."  
  
"You'd better not. Don't worry, though, its not live." Megumi put a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder and both girls took deep breaths.  
  
". . .and now to meet your Bachelorette's best friend, the woman who has more influence on her than you know, Takani Megumi!" the bachelors clapped and without so much as a word to Kaoru, Megumi was out of the door and on camera.  
  
"Oh dear gods," Kaoru gasped. "I can't do this alone."  
  
"All you have to do alone is walk out there." Kaoru jumped, forgetting the elder man was still there. "Once you get out there you'll be with your friend and Misao." He smiled at her, and before she could respond, Misao had announced her.  
  
"Thank you!" Kaoru hissed over her shoulder, flinging the door open with all her might—into lights. Everywhere all focused on her. She stopped and blinked for a moment, adjusting to the lights, and was aware that there was clapping to her right and ahead. There were a few whistles and she blushed. Turning her vision slightly to the left, she glanced the sparkling red and blue of Megumi and Misao's dressed, and made a beeline for them. Instinctively, both Misao and Megumi reached out for their shaking friend's hands and squeezed them. Kaoru gave a heavy sigh of relief. This wasn't so bad.  
  
"There's one twist that none of you bachelors have heard yet," Misao said with an ornery grin directed at Kaoru, who weakly returned it. "My friend Miss Kamiya is not your average bachelorette." At this, Megumi snickered, and Kaoru glared at her. Misao looked at them and grinned. "Gentlemen, this bachelorette, the woman you are competing for? She's a man- hater." Followed by this was shocked silence as most of the clueless men exchanged frightened glances. Things had just gotten harder. The cameras focused on them, and Kaoru let out a heavy sigh of relief—self-revelation, she thought, I hate cameras.  
  
The cameras focused back on Misao and she grinned again, absolutely loving the fact that she knew what most of these people had just found out.  
  
"Alright then, lads, lets get to dinner! Starting with Kaoru, we will all introduce ourselves and tell a little bit about what we do." 28 bodies moved to seat themselves at a long table, Kaoru at the head with Misao and Megumi on her left and right. In the 25 other seats were the bachelors of all shapes and sizes, and all handsome, Kaoru had to admit. When Misao gave her the signal, she nervously addressed the table.  
  
"My. . .my name is Kamiya Kaoru. I am 19 years old, currently attending Tokyo University part time. I am the assistant master of the Kamiya Kasshin style at my father's dojo." Relieved as all hell that she was done, she relaxed. Megumi went next.  
  
"I," she said, flipping her long black hair over her shoulder and smirking with bright red lips, "am Takani Megumi. I'm 21 years old and I work as a doctor with Dr.Genzai's Practice at the Tokyo Hospital." She was done. The man next to Megumi, a tall, spiky haired rooster, nodded at the cameras.  
  
"Name's Sagara Sanosuke, or Zanza. I'm 20 and I'm a self-made millionaire." He smirked at the table, and when the camera had moved on he eyed the three women close to him.  
  
'Question is,' he thought to himself as his glance went from Kaoru to Megumi, 'Why waste time on a bitter old hag like Missy over there when you could go for the fox sitting on my right?'  
  
The other men introduced themselves, and Kaoru listened politely, smiling distantly at each one and nodding when they directed a comment at her. After a while, though, she began to lose interest and her mind and eyes began to wander. One of the men seemed entirely out of place—he was short and thinner than the others, though not weak-looking. His hair was a vibrant red and his eyes were, strangely enough, violet. Even odder was the cross-shaped scar on his left cheek. Everything about this man screamed for you to look at him, though he wasn't at all aiming for attention. On his face was a placid smile that never seemed to go away.  
  
'Hmm.' Kaoru thought with pursed lips. 'Well.' At that, she turned her attention to the current speaker, a dark and silent man with black bangs that hung in his face. He seemed entirely mysterious.  
  
"I am Shinomori Aoshi. I am 24 and the president of Shinomori Electronics." Kaoru noticed that the man didn't seem keen on sharing very openly, and also that Misao to her side was practically drooling into her appetizer. Stealthily, with only the slightest of smiles on her face, Kaoru tapped Misao's chin. Snapping out of it, Misao's eyes widened and she snapped her jaw shut, giggling and blushing. Aoshi shot her a look that would've killed a bird, and Misao only giggled more. Megumi rolled her eyes, and the next man went.  
  
For someone who hated men, Kaoru had to admit some of them were interesting. Seta Soujiro, for example, was constantly smiling and his voice was cheerful. Though she found many of them interesting, Kaoru knew that there were none she was interested in. She sighed, only pretending to listen, until the scarred man's turn came up. She wasn't even aware she was paying attention to him, but his gentle, friendly voice pulled at something in her.  
  
"My name is Himura Kenshin, and I'm a wanderer, that I am. I'm 28." He smiled at her and everyone else, but for that moment when he was smiling at her, she felt like. . . just for once, she was the most important thing. . . shaking her head, she raised an eyebrow.  
  
'28? Holy cow, that's old!'  
  
~*~*~  
  
A/N: Rooooooooxxxaaannne, you don't have to wear that dress toniiiiiight. . . heh. They're all already into their prospects. Muahaha. Though that may change. . . de gozaru.  
  
ESP- Gee. . . um, thanks?  
  
Leiko47seta- Not a problem. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing (  
  
The-Lone-Lemon- hehehe, glad to surprise you. It actually kinda surprised me, too. Thanks for the enthusiasm!  
  
RK-128- My one and only bouncer buddie. I'm flattered you think so highly of me and this story, however, I can't exactly agree. * shrug * It'll be fun to write, and if anything, writing for so long has led to improvement. LOL, like what we were talking about. . . I seriously can't read anything I wrote over 6 months ago.  
  
ME!!- Wow! Thanks for the enthusiasm! 


	5. Doomed!

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter 5: Doomed!  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: Obnoxious author here with useless information, for your every day life! Anyone remember that? Old "All That", Laurie Beth something. . . yeah. Ok. Thanks to those who reviewed!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not claim to own these characters or. . . well, I just don't believe that I own them. That would be Nobuhiro Watsuki, silly.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Kaoru collapsed, fully exhausted, onto the bed in the mansion she, Megumi, Misao, and the 25 bachelors shared for the time of the show. She was still clad in the dining dress she had worn earlier that evening, but she had kicked off the uncomfortable shoes. With a sigh, she stood to change into her pajamas. Once the dress was hung up in her closet, her make- up was scrubbed off, and her hair was in a comfortable braid that hung down her back, the feel of deep dread hit her. She had survived the first filming, but tomorrow there would be more. Not only tomorrow, but several times every day for the next 2 months or so. She scowled, hating the feeling that the next few weeks would be painful, and even more unfortunately, entirely unavoidable. She was doomed.  
  
~*~*~  
  
The next morning, Kaoru was awoken by a chipper Misao and a disgruntled Megumi, who Kaoru assumed had just been woken up herself by Misao. For the first time, she questioned having her room next to the energetic host. The three were going to sneak out for a 6 am (Megumi looked extremely annoyed at the time) breakfast before taping began. Today, they would first film Misao and Megumi discussing which men they felt would be best for Kaoru, then Misao telling Kaoru who her first three one-hour "talking" dates were. The rest of the episode would be filled with pre- taped interviews with the bachelors.  
  
But that was AFTER the 6 am breakfast.  
  
Kaoru, annoyed at the surprise plan, ripped off her boxers and pulled on a more appropriate sweat skirt and tugged a plain white t-shirt over her tank top. Megumi looked rumpled and grumpy, so different from how anyone was used to seeing her. Kaoru would've giggled, had she a sense of humor at 5:30 am.  
  
The three headed out in Misao's blue-violet Volkswagon Beetle to a small diner just outside of Kyoto (A/N: Ok, so there aren't exactly mom-and- pop diners in Japan. . . imagination!) and ordered eggs, bacon, and coffee while Misao energetically pumped her new friends for info.  
  
"So?" she asked Kaoru excitedly, almost bouncing in anticipation. "What'd you think of your bachelors? Anything look like a possibility?" Misao's eyes were huge. Kaoru glared into her coffee mug.  
  
"No." she said bluntly, and Megumi chuckled, slightly more friendly with the intake of caffeine.  
  
"Don't think she'll ever admit to liking a guy, Misao," she warned. "Kaoru's a hardcore man-hater, not one of those wimpy ones."  
  
"Oh but there must've been a FEW that you thought were cute!" Misao pressed, and Kaoru sighed.  
  
"Of course, Misao, they were all nice enough. I just don't date."  
  
"You do now," Misao and Megumi replied in unison with smug grins.  
  
"Not by personal choice." She shot back. Misao scrunched up her face in concentration.  
  
"Let's see. . . how about that yummy Shinomori Aoshi?" she asked. Kaoru wrinkled her nose.  
  
"He was nice looking. I guess. He kinda seemed overly quiet." At her reply, Misao let out a huge sigh.  
  
"Oh, thank GOODNESS you're not into him! I'll let you two in on a little secret: I am." Misao looked dreamily up at the ceiling and Megumi and Kaoru exchanged glances.  
  
"We noticed." Megumi said with a sly grin. "Maybe if you drooled a little more over him, he'd take some interest in you."  
  
"Hey! I don't need to DROOL to get Shinomori-san's attention!" Misao's energy had gone from infatuation to infuriation. Kaoru put a hand on her shoulder and pulled her back into her seat.  
  
"Megumi," she said quickly. "was there any guy you took particular notice in?" Misao and Megumi's argument was instantly forgotten and Megumi grinned.  
  
"No, nothing in particular." Her grin broadened. "However, that Zanza character seemed to take a particular interest in me. He was sneaking looks at me all night." She couldn't help but smirk in satisfaction, and Misao adopted an evil grin of her own.  
  
"Speaking of sneaking looks, Miss Kaoru seemed to be doing that a lot."  
  
"I had to look at all of them, Weasel-girl." Kaoru snapped.  
  
"I could've sworn you looked at that Himura fellow four or five times more than necessary." At Misao's statement, Megumi looked at her friend with interest.  
  
"You mean violent Tanuki was checking out a guy?" she said in disbelief. "He must've been special, then."  
  
"I was NOT checking out Himura-san!" Kaoru's face flamed in anger.  
  
"Awww, she's blushing!" Megumi teased. Misao giggled, and Kaoru set a level glare on both of them.  
  
"I don't know how I can make it clearer that for ANY of these rich snobs, I. AM. NOT. INTERESTED."  
  
End of conversation.  
  
~*~*~  
  
As Megumi was getting made up in her preparation room, there was a knock at her door. The make-up artist answered, and Zanza stepped in.  
  
"May I talk to Miss Takani alone?" he asked. The make-up artist raised a single eyebrow, but nodded and left the two of them in her room. Megumi turned in her chair, annoyed.  
  
"Strange men aren't supposed to visit women's dressing rooms before a show." She said, face straight. Zanza gave a small smile.  
  
"I'll argue with you about that later, but right now I've got something important to talk to you about." The millionaire's voice was so solemn, something that seemed entirely out of character for him. Megumi nodded, listening seriously.  
  
"What is it?" she asked, all acts and flirtations aside. Zanza pulled a chair up close to her. This was too important to talk about loosely.  
  
"There is a conspiracy that may result in Little Missy- I mean Miss Kamiya- that may result in her death. Before you freak out, one of the bachelors isn't really in it for the game- he's from Japanese Protection Services, and he's here solely to protect her." Megumi had paled considerably during Zanza's speech, and the idea that there was a man there to protect her friend didn't help much.  
  
"That's insane! Who'd want to kill Kaoru, and why? And who's protecting her, anyway? YOU?" Megumi's voice was at a level so angry that Zanza wanted to step back. He glared at her.  
  
"No, not me. I will assist him, but its his job, not mine. I'm the one who notified Japanese Intelligence about the conspiracy." He was annoyed as hell. He was trying to help Little Missy and the fox, not the opposite.  
  
"Well, who is it, idiot?" Megumi demanded.  
  
"I'm GETTING there!" Zanza snapped, impatiently running his hand through his spiky brown hair. "The man protecting her is Himura Kenshin." Upon hearing the news, Megumi stared at him.  
  
"HIMURA? The little red-headed one?" She asked. Zanza shrugged.  
  
"I reacted the same way, but he's the best Japanese Protection has. He has yet to prove his skills to me, but he's a good guy." Zanza had stood and was preparing to leave. He stopped at the door.  
  
"Oh, and call me Sano."  
  
~*~*~  
  
The news not only shocked Megumi, but made her suddenly loathe the whole ordeal. That stupid company had tricked her, and now her best friend's life was in danger because of it.  
  
She was pissed.  
  
Kaoru couldn't know. Megumi didn't even know if she had the heart to tell her friend, but she knew one thing for sure. Kaoru would make it out of this reality t.v. show alive, and happy, is Megumi had anything to do with it. She would go out of her way to make sure it happened.  
  
And the first step of that was that she had to keep Himura Kenshin in the game at all costs.  
  
~*~*~  
  
Megumi and Misao sat at the patio table on the deck of the mansion where the entire game took place. Each was dressed well and made up to look refreshed and beautiful. They were given coffee, tea, and fancy toast to eat, but they couldn't eat it till they were on camera. That was nearly torture for Misao. One last minute for hairdressers to make sure their hair was shiny and flowing, and the cameras rolled.  
  
"Welcome to Extreme Dating Challenge!" Misao said cheerfully as the camera zoomed in on her. "Today Kaoru's best friend, Megumi, and I are analyzing each of Kaoru's suitors and deciding which we think would be best for her." Misao turned to Megumi. "So, Miss Megumi, what are your thoughts so far?"  
  
Megumi took a sip of coffee thoughtfully, and set it down.  
  
"As Kaoru's best friend, I know how difficult she's going to be. The guy for her is going to be the one who's not scared of her and isn't going to get tired of gentling her. She's definitely a challenge when it comes to dating. But the truth is, if a guy isn't willing to put the time into winning her, they aren't worth her." She finished. Misao nodded.  
  
"I agree. Miss Kaoru's going to give these men hell!" she giggled. "But personality-wise, who do you think is most compatible with her?"  
  
"I haven't gotten to know any of these men very well, but there were a few that caught my eye for her. Seta-san, Himura-san, Tokashi-san, and Kame-san were the main ones." Megumi replied, taking a dainty bite of her toast.  
  
"Interesting! I'd picked out Himura-san and Tokashi-san for her as well. They all seem to have the calm, patient attitudes that would be just right for taming Miss Kaoru."  
  
"Exactly. Kaoru acts tough but she really just needs someone to understand her and work with her and get to know her. Himura-san in particular seems to have the patience for the task. And in reality, it would be him winning something." Megumi said seriously, though she felt like she was spewing b-s. Misao grinned and nodded enthusiastically.  
  
"Its funny that you say that, Miss Megumi, because we had compatibility specialists compare Miss Kaoru's personality with those of all the bachelors, and the top three included Mr. Himura. Amano Tokashi was another, and also one of your picks, and the last was one of my top picks for Miss Kaoru: Mr. Shinomori." When Misao told her this, Megumi only stared at her friend for a moment in disbelief. Was it really true, that Kaoru was extremely compatible with Mr. Shinomori? Megumi HIGHLY doubted it. A tiny smirk graced her face as she realized that Misao had rigged the compatibility tests.  
  
"Mr. Shinomori?" Megumi asked, feigning ignorance. "That surprises me."  
  
"Yes, well," Misao said with an airy wave of her hand. "Shinomori- san, Himura-san, and Tokashi-san are Miss Kaoru's best bets." Misao inconspicuously angled herself so that she was facing partially towards the camera and partially towards Megumi. "Why don't you go get her, so we can reveal her first hour-long dates to her?" she suggested. Megumi nodded.  
  
"That sounds like a good idea." She said. She stood and bowed politely before walking off camera and towards the mansion to get Kaoru. When Megumi found Kaoru, she was waiting anxiously in her room. She stood nervously when Megumi walked in.  
  
"Need me so soon?" she asked shakily. Megumi rolled her eyes.  
  
"Yeah, Tanuki. Quit being so camera-shy, its annoying me. They just want to get your reaction to finding out who your first three dates are, and then you're done for today."  
  
"Seems sort of pointless." Kaoru replied, but followed her friend anyway. When they were approaching the deck, they saw that Misao was talking to the camera.  
  
". . .the three names that Miss Megumi draws randomly will be the names of the men Kaoru is first destined to meet. Here they are now!" Kaoru took a deep breath as she and Megumi walked on camera.  
  
"Good morning, Miss Misao. How are you?" she asked. Misao beamed at her.  
  
"Wonderful! And you?"  
  
"Great."  
  
"That's great. Right now, Miss Megumi is going to draw three slips of paper which will decide who you are seeing tomorrow. Are you ready?" Misao's energy was amusing, and Kaoru couldn't help but giggle.  
  
"Ready as ever," she said. Misao pulled a box up from under the table with a small hole just big enough to fit a hand in in the top. She held it out to Megumi ceremoniously, and Megumi reached in. She handed the first slip of paper to Misao.  
  
"First date: Seta Soujiro." The camera zoomed in on Kaoru's face, and she found she didn't know how to react. She didn't even know the man, afterall. She smiled weakly. This was going to be a very long reality t.v. experience.  
  
*~*~*  
  
A/N: Gah, that was a painful chapter to write. Next one will be more fun, I promise. Kaoru talks to Soujiro(yay!), and some other guys we don't care about(boo!)! We hear more about Kenshin (yay!) and. . . other stuff happens (yay!).  
  
RK-128- * tackles * Loot! This chapter kinda sucked a lot, but I'm really excited for everything that's going to happen. Aoshi and Misao, in particular. . . * rubs hands together evilly * I can't believe you're getting so into this, you silly nut. Merci beaucoup, mon amie ( . Are you ready? Ahhhh! No!!!!!!  
  
Wa'lie- hehehe, thanks so much for giving this story undue credit. I'm glad you like it. I try to make things as long as I can, but I'm not a length person. . . if things get too long, I stop having fun with them.  
  
Yotaka- I know what the real world is (. I think that show's retarded, but it could never be, with Kenshin characters. I should check that out. And about Kaoru and Kenshin falling in love. . . don't worry about that. It'll happen. It will take time, but I won't be as anal about the length of time for this story. I'm so excited for them.  
  
Bishie Chaser- I LOVE your name. Aren't we all? It means very much to me that you think I'm talented, and I'm so glad you like this story. Thanks.  
  
Lady Galadria- Heh. Heh. Heh. We shall see what Sano decides to do, muahahahaha! Ahem. Thanks for being so nice and reviewing (  
  
Luli451- I'm actually pretty proud of this idea. Of course, its got, like, 800 things that inspired it, like a million dating shows and Rurouni Kenshin (duh) and lots of other things... I'm so glad you like my story so far. I hope you keep enjoying it. 


	6. Bachelor Number One

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter 6: Bachelor Number One. . .  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: I'm so anxious for the end of this story, if only because it. . . wait, I can't tell you guys! :P Ok well enjoy this chapter. We finally get to see more of Kenshin.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Kenshin and neither do you. Nyaa.

Himura Kenshin lugged his bag over his shoulder and shook his long red bangs out of his face. He looked up the wide marble stairs and sighed—something about this whole situation made him a little unhappy. Someone had told him that once he got inside, he'd see the stairs, and his room was at the end of the hall and to the right. Right next to the girl's room, he'd been told, and he was lucky. Kenshin agreed, but for a different reason. With his room right next to hers, he could protect her better.  
  
Kenshin sighed again as he headed up the stairs. Reality t.v., and especially dating shows, were not quite his thing. And this wasn't even a normal dating show, because the girl hated men. . . protecting her would NOT be easy.  
  
He had arrived at the mansion when everyone else had, but for some reason his bags had been lost and it had taken them this long to get here. As he reached the door at the end of the hall, to the right, he turned the handle and pushed gently. . . the door opened silently, and he sighed. Good, it was his room. Now he could unpack and take a nap.  
  
Kenshin let his bag slide to the King size bed and went to close the door. He sat with his hand on the door handle silently for a few moments, listening to see if he could hear anyone around. No one. Good. He looked around quickly by habit and flipped out his flat black cell phone. He pushed one button, and a voice immediately came from it.  
  
"Are you in, baka deshi?" the sinister voice asked. Kenshin scowled.  
  
"Yes, Master Hiko. I'm in."Kaoru sat, annoyed and impatient, on the couch as the cameras filmed her. She was waiting for Seta Soujiro, her first interviewee, to arrive. He was late. The more time she was forced to be on camera, the less happy she was. She tried in vain not to look completely pissed off. With a sigh of disgust, she pointedly looked at her watch. A small noise at the doorway caused her to look up, and a smiling, brown haired young man stood sheepishly.  
  
"Pardon me, Miss Kamiya. Somebody locked the door to my room." He walked over as Kaoru stood, and the two shook hands.  
  
"Don't worry about it too much," Kaoru said, relieved she had someone to share her camera time with. "Would you like to sit down, Seta-san?" Soujiro obliged happily.  
  
"Call me Soujiro, please! I'm quite glad you're not half as intimidating as they'd made you out to be. You seem pretty friendly." He smiled in such a way that made Kaoru feel, if anyone else had given it, it would've been fake. She smiled awkwardly.  
  
"You flatter me." She replied flatly. "So tell me about yourself, Soujiro- san."  
  
The conversation went on, Kaoru being cold and calculating as she was supposed to be but inevitably charmed by Soujiro's endless smiling. She wondered if his cheek muscles ever hurt, or if it got tiring being happy all the time. Of course none of this was conveyed, and Soujiro felt that from the start, he had no chance. This girl wasn't about to be friendly with him, let alone open up even a little. However, he would never know what kind of person she was if he never tried, so try he did.  
  
One of the cameramen held up a card that told Soujiro and Kaoru that they only had a minute left to go. Kaoru let out a relieved sigh.  
  
"Well, we've only got a little bit of time left. I'm glad we had the chance to talk." Soujiro smiled at Kaoru and she returned it reluctantly.  
  
"Yes, it was nice." She agreed, her voice soaked in exhausted happiness that the first "date" was almost over with. Soujiro cocked his head to the side. The director called "cut", and the cameras were turned off. "You seem rather pleased that we're done if I'm not mistaken, Miss Kamiya." He noted smilingly. Kaoru looked horrified.  
  
"Its not that! I'm sorry, Soujiro, its just that, as you know, I don't like dating and I also don't like cameras. I would've enjoyed talking to you if the situation had been different, I promise." She grabbed his hand in a means to show her earnesty. Soujiro watched her with an odd look of contemplation on his face, and grinned.  
  
"No problem, Kamiya. We can just be friends, and that'd be nice. Don't you think?"  
  
"Oh, you have no idea!" Kaoru breathed another heavy sigh of relief and slumped against the back of the couch. "Being on this stupid dating show is absolute insanity to me. I'm not going to really date any of you, and forcing me to do it for entertainment is just sick."  
  
"Very sick," Soujiro agreed. 'You have absolutely no idea HOW sick, though,' he thought in his cheerful voice. "Well, I'm going to head off, since I'm sure you've got some other dates to prepare for. Good luck, Kamiya! Ja ne!" Soujiro gave a friendly wave and was off. And Kaoru smiled inwardly. She had another plan. Just convince every man to be her friend and ONLY her friend and she'd be fine.  
  
'Thanks, Soujiro,' she thought happily.That personal interviews-slash-dates continued, round the clock, or so it seemed to Kaoru. Almost all of them were awkward, and Kaoru was really beginning to loathe Megumi for getting her into this. In reality, she had only met with three men today, but that meant there were MILLIONS more to come. MILLIONS. Kaoru groaned. Tomorrow she was meeting with three guys who she couldn't remember. She was less than excited.  
  
As the director told her she could go, she decided that she would gather up Megumi and Misao and see if they wanted to de-stress with her. A spa, maybe? Yes. It was on the budget of the show, after all. She grinned. There WERE perks.  
  
She found Megumi in her room, pouring over a book on Cardiology. She knocked needlessly on the open doorframe.  
  
"Still studying to be a real doctor?" she teased. Megumi looked up, missing the jest, and nodded.  
  
"I had always wanted to be a Pediatrician, but lately Cardiology has. . . caught my interest."  
  
"Oh, really? Gosh, Megumi, that's really ambitious of you. 'Takani Megumi, Cardiologist'. Yep. It works!" Kaoru smiled. Megumi, now thoroughly distracted, shut the book and set it beside her.  
  
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Tanuki. How'd the first dates go?" she asked, and Kaoru came over and flopped down beside her friend on the bed.  
  
"I don't want to talk about it," she said tiredly. "But I came here to see if you and 'Sao wanted to visit a spa with me. I'm kind of stressed, and if we can GO to the spa everyday without paying a cent, I say, why not?" she said. Megumi brightened.  
  
"Hey, good idea! I'll go get Misao if you get my stuff ready for me. Meet you here in ten?"  
  
"Deal!"  
  
Megumi headed off and Kaoru pulled herself into a sitting position and hopped off the bed. All they'd need. . . was really just bikinis and comfortable clothes. The spa would most likely supply towels and robes for them. She dug through Megumi's bags and found one (of 4) bikinis, the terry cloth skirt, and a t-shirt. Then she went through the door connecting their rooms to grab her own stuff (bikini, sweatpants, tank). She changed in Megumi's bathroom, and when she came out Misao and Megumi were waiting for her. Misao had on shorts and a bikini top and Megumi was wearing the clothes Kaoru had set out for her. ("I changed in your room, Kaoru, I hope you don't mind.")  
  
"Ready?!" Misao squealed. Kaoru grinned.  
  
"More than," she replied.  
  
"Alright! My car, here we come!" Misao yelled, leading them down the stairs and out the front door. Megumi and Kaoru exchanged amused looks in response to their energetic new friend. They were off to the spa. Kaoru was so looking forward to it that she momentarily forgot that tomorrow, she had three more stressful dates to live through.  
  
Kenshin tugged the strap of his diagonal backpack and checked his watch. The dating show was so stupid to him. When he wasn't trying to "compete" for and protect some bratty girl, he had absolutely nothing to do. He had gone out to the park to see if there were any kick boxers or runners about, but that had bored him quickly. His superior study of all fields of martial arts and impressive indurance in running guaranteed this. He crossed the busy intersection connecting the park to a line of shops. As he began reaching the other end, he noticed that Makimachi Misao, the host of the show, and Takani Megumi, Miss Kaoru's best friend, were waiting there. He lifted an arm to wave and greet them, but a call interrupted.  
  
"I'm coming, Megumi!" From that moment on, everything moved in slow motion. He turned to see Kaoru jog across the intersection. . . get halfway there. . . and stumble, falling to her knees. . .  
  
Right in front of a speeding sportscar.Uh ohhhhh. Whew.  
  
Thank yous!  
  
Bishie Chaser- Thanks. And ahhh! I'm hurrying! stresses This is kind of a rough and awkward part for me, so once I hit a certain point, the chapters'll come easier for me. No worries!  
  
ESP- Thanks to you too, and I will!  
  
Unicornfan- Yay I love it when people are as excited about things I write as you are! Granted, its undeserving, but its still nice to hear! I, too, agree that Kaoru and Kenshin are too cute for words. (BTW, there are –plenty- of faults with this'un. It bothers me cause I don't have sufficient time to plan it and make it nice. Oh well!)  
  
The-Lone-Lemon- Hey thanks! I 'm glad you like it.  
  
Yotaka- Lol. Thanks a lot. I never seem to build suspense pretty well, I always draw it out or end it too quickly... meh. Thanks for reading! When I saw your name I thought it said "Yomama". It made me happy.  
  
RK-128- What to say what to say what to say. Hehehe, I'm so glad you're having fun with this. I am too! Misao and Aoshi are going to be fun. I seriously can't wait. I'm going to have an absolute blast writing it. Who needs alcohol when you can have fanfiction??? Not me!!! 


	7. Crash and Burn

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Chapter 7: Crash and Burn  
  
By Seabreeze  
  
A/N: . . .   
  
Disclaimer: This one owns nothing of importance to you, sir.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
Kaoru's knees hit the gravel heavily and she cringed; it was only when she heard the angry honking of a screeching car did she realize that, within a few minutes, she would probably die. There was only time for a single tear to roll down her cheek before she felt something. Though, it was not quite what she expected a car to feel like. She had thought it would be a large thud as the car hit her body, and then nothing. This was the part where she was already dead.  
  
But it didn't feel like that at all. For one thing, it was a whole lot softer and less forceful than any car. Secondly, it was a blur of red and smelled like sandalwood. And third, whatever it was wrapped all around her like a blanket.  
  
Breathing heavily, Kenshin set Kaoru in the grass in the park by the intersection where she had nearly been killed.   
  
"Are you alright, Miss Kaoru?" he asked, panting. Kaoru's eyes were still clenched shut. A spasm hit her shoulders and she flung herself upward, gasping for air.  
  
"I. . . I'm. . . Mr. Himura? Why am I not. . .?"  
  
"Don't DO that to me!!!" he snapped, violet-blue eyes clearly worried. "What were you thinking, running across the street like that? You could've been killed! You almost were!" Kenshin had never felt angrier. The stupid girl had almost gotten herself killed- and it didn't even involve the people planning to kill her! Luckily, Kaoru's response was interrupted by Megumi and Misao running at the two.  
  
"KAORU you stupid bitch!" Megumi was nearly in tears, and Misao looked upon the verge of them. "What the HELL was I supposed to do if you got killed, huh? You idiot!" once she had finished yelling at Kaoru, Megumi threw herself on her friend, hugging her tightly. "Do NOT make me kill you," she cried, nearly choking her friend in a tight hug. Dazed, Kaoru loosely hugged her friend back until Kenshin pulled Megumi away.  
  
"Gentle, Miss Takani, she might be injured." Kenshin's voice was back to normal, and he gently checked Kaoru over for injuries. First he took her head between gentle fingers and looked her in the eyes. "How do you feel?" he asked, hypnotizing her unintentionally. "Are you dizzy, nauseous, do you hurt anywhere?"  
  
"I'm. . . a little dizzy. I can't really think, its-" Kaoru motioned in the air with her hands. "-its all foggy in my head." She dropped her arms and let her shoulders hunch forward. She had done something bad, she had made Megumi and Kenshin and Misao worry. . . Kenshin felt her forehead for her temperature and sighed.  
  
"Well, I don't think she got hit anywhere, but she's probably in shock." Right on cue, an ambulance arrived at the curb, sirens flaring and making Kaoru look up.  
  
"I think I'm fine," she protested weakly, but the paramedics were already out and checking all her vitals. They made her lie back in the grass as they did so, and made the observance that the cause of her "fog" was because she wasn't breathing properly. She wasn't taking in enough oxygen for her brain to function correctly.  
  
"We need to get her hooked up with a respirator just in case. At this point, the shock may cause her lungs to collapse." The head paramedic announced, and they began loading her into the back of the ambulance. Megumi choked on a sob and turned to Misao, who was crying silently already.  
  
"Can we come along?" Kenshin asked the last of the paramedics. The woman shook her head.  
  
"There's really only room for one. You could come, but I suggest your friends either go home and come later or follow in another car, because they're hysterical right now." Misao nodded quickly, thanked the paramedic, and led Megumi to where her car was parked. Kenshin followed the paramedic into the ambulance and found a spot at Kaoru's left shoulder. She turned to look at him.  
  
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Despite himself, Kenshin gave her a small, reassuring smile.  
  
"Don't you worry about it, Miss Kaoru. Accidents happen, that they do. You'll be fine."  
  
"Are you the one that saved her?" a gruff paramedic asked Kenshin. He looked at the man with wide-eyed surprise, then nodded. "Good thing you intervened. This pretty little girl'd be dead now if you hadn't."  
  
Kaoru paled and Kenshin couldn't help but glare in disgust at the paramedic.  
  
"I'm sure that bit of information was exactly what she needed to hear," Kenshin scowled, and smoothed Kaoru's bangs from her face, simultaneously feeling her temperature. It was fine. He sighed with relief. "You'll be fine, Miss Kaoru."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
It turned out Kaoru really was fine, and the respirator had been a precaution. They set her up on one anyway, and laid her on a hospital bed. Kenshin stayed with her the entire time, inwardly laughing at the fact that she kept insisting she was fine and could go home.  
  
"That may be so, Miss Kamiya, but we're going to keep you here for an hour or two until we're sure." The doctor had told her with a chuckle. Kaoru nodded obediently and relaxed into the hospital bed. She took a deep breath and turned slowly towards Kenshin, who was reading something to the right of her bed.  
  
"Himura-san?" she asked quietly. He looked up from his reading. "I'm sorry about my mistake. I really am embarrassed, and I wish you hadn't had to be there."  
  
"Lucky for you I was, though." Kenshin mused with a small smile. Kaoru held back a glare. She didn't ALWAYS need to be rescued, after all. Megumi and Misao picked that moment to burst into the room.  
  
"Kaoru!" they said together.  
  
"You look great! How're you feeling?" Misao asked, excited green eyes flashing as she took her friend's hand.  
  
"I feel fine," Kaoru responded. "They're just keeping me awhile to make sure."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
As was promised, Kaoru was allowed to leave the hospital after an hour and a half. Kenshin had  
  
left soon after Misao and Megumi had arrived, so the three girls went home in Misao's VW.   
  
"Such a scary thing to happen," Misao commented as she focused on the road ahead of her.  
  
"I'll say," Kaoru agreed. "Not to mention embarrassing! And you guys and Himura and all those people had to see it!" she groaned. "If I wasn't so clumsy, none of that would've happened."  
  
"Ah, so you're worried about Himura seeing you as a clumsy oaf?" Megumi said slyly. Kaoru glared at her friend.  
  
"Stop implying that I like Himura-san!" she snapped. "When will you guys get it through your heads? I. Don't. Like. Any. Of these guys!"  
  
"Calm down, Kaoru," Misao said, checking the rear view mirror worriedly. Kaoru sighed.  
  
"Oh, Misao, I'm fine."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
A/N: Is what happened to Kaoru physically possible? I highly doubt it. I apologize for this and the last chapter sucking, but I'm trying to get everything in order. Believe it or not, the whole "speeding car" incident was not just to show that Kaoru's a damsel in distress. Anyone can trip (some more prone to it than others) and in that situation. . . there was little she could do. Kaoru's still kick-ass- in the manga, Nobuhiro says that Kaoru's a national level kendo champion. She is in this story too.  
  
Sorry, also, for this chapter being short and seemingly pointless. I've already got 8 started, so it won't be long til its up. And by then, I promise you, things will start to flow better. Also sorry for crappy formatting, if you've read Sweet Mistakes, you know its because I have to use a text format hurls   
  
Thanks:  
  
RK-128- Unfortunately, you gave me more credit than I deserve. I have to use clich,d crap every once in awhile, because I'm not really a real writer. And no, there will be no condiments dance in this story, though there may be a perverted-old-man dance. (Eehehehehe!)  
  
Roku-chan- Your review is so nice! I feel bad because I didn't like that chapter and neither, apparently, did other people, but you were so kind! Thank you!   
  
XxSilentxDreamerxX- Nah, its ok. I read and write when its waaaaaay past my bedtime, so I get ya. Thanks for reviewing.  
  
LittleDragon5- Wait, I'm confused- I always mix in my original ideas with clich,d ones.   
  
ESP- Forgive me, but I don't understand what you mean about this story being half-serious and all. . .? Well, anyways, thanks for my review : )  
  
Unicornfan- I know, I know, they're ooc, but they'll become more like themselves. Just like in Chiki's fic, where Kenshin's a total jerk in the beginning. . . I love that story.  
  
And in general: I'm just not enjoying this right now. I know I'm not doing so hot with the writing and all, but please please please just stick with it. It sucks now but it'll get better. 


	8. Switch

Xtreme Dating Challenge  
  
Switch  
  
Seabreeze  
  
A/N: Hum de hum de hum. You guys'll enjoy this baby. Heh. Heh heh heh heh.  
  
Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own anything.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
The next day, after making sure that Kaoru was perfectly fine, the producers informed her that she three dates to complete. To save time, they did not tape the moment when Kaoru learned who she would meet today. Misao, as she had the first day, picked and read her the names, and was less than excited when she learned that Shinomori, Aoshi was the last date for the day.  
  
"Don't worry, Misao," Kaoru said, worried her friend would be mad at her. "Remember? I'm not interested in any of these guys- Aoshi included." She touched Misao's shoulder for emphasis, and Misao grabbed her hand and pulled Kaoru off to a separate balcony.  
  
"I'm not worried about you, Kaoru, I'm worried about him! What if he falls for you? That would be awful! I don't even know if I can handle the thought of him dating anyone. . ." Misao bit her nail nervously, and Kaoru realized that she had never seen Misao like this before.  
  
"You really like him, don't you?" she asked softly. Misao raised her big green eyes to Kaoru and nodded.  
  
"I don't know why, Kaoru! I haven't even really met the guy yet, but he's so. . . so. . ."  
  
"Was it love at first sight?" Kaoru asked, spellbound. Misao turned to the balcony railing and looked out, surveying the lush gardens.  
  
"Not exactly," Misao replied, voice far away. "I just feel. . . like there's something there. Its hard to explain."  
  
"Have you tried talking to him?"  
  
"I haven't had a chance! You know I'd love to, but I can't ever seem to find him. Even if he's not interested now, I could win him over! Don't you think?" Misao turned to Kaoru. Kaoru couldn't help but laugh a little.  
  
"Misao, if anyone can win over a block of ice, its you."   
  
"Hey, he's not a block of ice! He's just. . . mysterious. There's more to him than you can see!"  
  
"I'd love to talk about this more, but I'm due in make-up." Kaoru said, feeling guilty for abandoning her friend. Misao watched her for a moment.  
  
"Screw make-up. I'll do it."   
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
Misao dragged Kaoru into make-up and chased all the hair and make-up artists out of the room so she and Kaoru could discuss alone. As she applied base, concealer, blush, lip gloss, eyeshadow, eyeliner, and mascara to Kaoru, Misao tried in vain to put her feelings towards Aoshi into words.  
  
"its like-" Misao began as she pulled Kaoru's blow-dried hair into a high ponytail, "-its like that feeling you get right before the drop in a rollercoaster. Like you're partially scared, but mostly you're excited and you're blood's rushing around in your veins."  
  
"Wow, Misao, that's. . . intense." Kaoru said, slightly awed.  
  
"I know," Misao agreed, tying a wide blue ribbon around the ponytail. "But its so crazy, Kaoru!" she sighed. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do with myself." Kaoru giggled.  
  
"I've never heard anyone as passionate about anything as you are about Aoshi." She said teasingly. Misao only sighed in response. Then, after she was satisfied with Kaoru's hair and makeup, she tugged her friend out the chair once again.  
  
"Come on, Kaoru! Wardrobe!" Misao dragged Kaoru quickly into another room, one filled with wracks of clothes, only to find- a guy. Misao stopped in her tracks so that Kaoru accidentally ran into her.  
  
"Ouch! What'd you stop for, Misao?" but she only had to look over Misao's shoulder to get her answer. One of the bachelors, Amano Tokashi, was waiting for them, holding a bouquet of light blue roses in his hands. His eyes brightened and his ears turned red as he saw Kaoru.  
  
"Miss Kamiya," he said, bowing. Kaoru and Misao bowed back, Misao slightly irked that he had not addressed her.  
  
"Good morning, Tokashi-san," Kaoru said, unsure of what was going on.  
  
"Oh, I- I just wanted to give you these before we talk today." He handed her the roses awkwardly as Kaoru remembered that Tokashi was her second date for the day.  
  
"Thank you," she said, dumbfounded. Amano stepped forward and kissed Kaoru on the cheek, bowing, and leaving the room. Kaoru turned bright red as she and Misao stared at eachother.  
  
"Woww," Misao said. "Seems I'm not the only one who's completely in love with someone I'll never get." She said smugly.   
  
"He's not in love with me, he's just being courteous." Kaoru retorted. "Plus, Aoshi's not out of your reach."  
  
"No," Misao said thoughtfully as she wrapped herself in a furcoat hanging from one of the wracks of clothes. "I'm just gonna have to work a little harder for him," with a coy wink to Kaoru, she spun and began shifting through the clothes. Kaoru giggled as Misao began again; "Now how do you feel today, Miss Kamiya?"  
  
"Like I'd rather not go on three dates with complete strangers," Kaoru said, nose wrinkled. Misao rolled her eyes and held up a black ruffled mini skirt.  
  
"Fine, then you get no say. You'll wear this, and-" Misao reached in and pulled out a purple tank top with a slight turtle neck. The tank was textured and had the outline of a giant purple rose on the bottom right corner. Kaoru shrugged after looking over it.  
  
"Whatever." she said, obviously bored. She took the clothes behind the small, old-fashioned, wooden partician that served as a dressing room.  
  
"Oooh, you'll wear boots, too!" Misao said, excitedly tossing knee-high black stilleto boots to her friend. One hit her squarely on the head.  
  
"Owwww, Misao!!!!" she whined, already feeling 100% apprehensive. She rubbed her head and zipped up the skirt. "I don't want to do this," she stated mournfully. Misao sighed.  
  
"I don't want you to either, Kaoru, but we're tied. God knows I'd rather go on a date with Aoshi-sama than let anyone else-"  
  
Kaoru stepped out of the makeshift dressing room, wearing the outfit Misao had chosen and an un-Kaoru-like smirk.  
  
"Would you," she said coolly, walking over to the dressing wracks and shifting through them herself. "You know, I never thought about it much, Misao, but we look a lot alike." she grinned over the wrack, hardly containing her excitement. Misao stared at her friend in confusion until it dawned on her.  
  
"What do you-? Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Misao's eyes got huge and she yanked her friend over. "Do you MEAN it, Kaoru? Do you think we could really pull it off?"  
  
"Well, why not? I'll make you look like I always do, and you make me look like you always do. . . you go on my dates for today and get to talk to Aoshi. . . I act like a TV host and get out of my dates-" Misao cut her off by squealing and throwing her arms around her friends neck.  
  
"I love you FOREVER, Kaoru! You are SO one of the coolest people I've ever met! But hurry, we don't have time for this! MAKE-UP!"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
In thirty minutes, Kaoru and Misao had completely transformed. Kaoru wore the same outfit as before, and Misao wore a light pink, flowered summer dress with platform sandles to boost her height. Kaoru had straightened Misao's long hair and gathered it into a high ponytail, arrangering her friends bangs as she did her own. Nude lipgloss, pink blush, and loads of mascara finished the deal. Kaoru stared at her creation in wonder; it was almost like looking in a mirror. Except for there was no mirror, and she was looking at Misao.  
  
They didn't have much time to gawk, so Misao went to work immediately on Kaoru.  
  
She first took down her friends' hair and braided it quickly and precisely. She mussed up Kaoru's bangs and added a slight bit of bright green eyeshadow to her eyelids, hoping it would make them seem greener. She applied light mascara and peach blush next, and Kaoru was (physically, at least) Misao.  
  
"Oh, my gosh." Misao said as the two stood side by side in front of a mirror. "This is creepy." Kaoru nodded in agreement.  
  
"Creepy but convenient," she said. "Remember we have to try and copy each other's manerisms and voice and all that, ok?"  
  
"Got it," Misao said, looking eager and ready.  
  
"And don't look too interested in any of them, especially Aoshi, because I know you'll have trouble with that," she added, tugging at the end of her braid.  
  
"Got it. And you, Kaoru, keep the energy up! You're a host, you gotta have energy! Act like-"  
  
"-like I've just had 47 cups of coffee?" Kaoru asked with a grin. Misao scowled.  
  
"I was GOING to say 'like me'."  
  
"What's the difference?"  
  
"If I didn't love you right now, I'd totally kick your butt."  
  
"You could try," Kaoru teased, grinning. "Oh, I'm sorry, Misao, I'm just so excited!"  
  
- - - -- - - - -- - - - - - -  
  
Kaoru hosted the show with as much enthusiasm she could muster, convincingly portraying her small, green-eyed friend. She felt such great relief at not having to perform her dates that showing such enthusiasm was not difficult. Misao, it seemed, was a born actress, and Kaoru was almost frightened by how well Misao played the part of herself. She moved, talked, and looked exactly like Kaoru. The dates were flawless; better, even, then when Kaoru was on them, and Kaoru only wished that Misao could fall in love with all the men she was supposed to be dating.  
  
She had, as predicted, a little trouble curbing her utter joy when Aoshi walked on camera, but would always seem to get herself in check. She asked him endless questions about himself- what he liked to do, what he liked in a girl, what he thought of himself.   
  
At the end of the day, both girls, Misao in particular, were extremely glad that they had conceived such an ingenius scheme.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -   
  
A/N: Meheheheheheheheheheh, my evil plot arises!!!!! I'm overly excited about this particular aspect of the story. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do   
  
The next chapter is not overly action-packed, but what's this? Sanosuke hits on Megumi????  
  
It simply cannot be :D  
  
Anyway, thanks to my lovely reviewer:

Human Chew Toy- haha, I hate reality tv too. Its NOT real, they set up situations... But I'm glad you like my story! Thanks so much for reading it and leaving such an energetic review.


End file.
